Thursday, July 28, 2011

Travelogue, Part II

My, my, what an eventful weekend I had. Did you know, my dears, that the human body can continue to twitch for some time after death? Needless to say, this only made my night with my dear dead host all the more exciting. I'll leave the details up to your imaginations, my dears, as a true lady never kisses and tells. Anyhow, I left my hosts the next morning, after showering once more and thanking them for their hospitality by giving them a Viking funeral of sorts. The fire crackled beautifully as it smouldered inside my host's chest cavity, the smell of charring fat filling the living room. I had to smile and grab a bit to snack on as I went out to fire up my motorcycle. The final ironically enjoyable stamp on my day was when I passed the police and fire brigade on my way out of the town. They had no idea anything was amiss, and that somehow made the whole experience more delicious.

Anyhow, after a few hours of riding I found myself in Maryland. I must say, it's beautiful territory, despite being infernally hot. I decided to visit this nation's capital (having never been), and that's where I am now. I'm considering paying a visit to Congress tomorrow. Perhaps a little negative incentivising will help them to resolve this ridiculous deadlock they seem to be in. Also, dears, has anyone noticed how the Pentagon seems to be shaped like a massive rectum? Given the Washington Monument's unabashedly phallic nature, this may indicate something about your dear Founding Fathers. Bum pirates, the lot of them. Does anyone have any suggestions for things to do while I'm here? The more outrageous or offensive they are, the more likely I am to do them. I'll be here until Saturday morning, so there's plenty of time. I'm also working on a little project, details to follow when it's slightly more fleshed-out and Father gives his approval to the venture.

Ta-ta for now, my dears.

Saturday, July 23, 2011


After the recent unpleasantness with my dear estranged daughter, I decided it would be best if I took a short sabbatical from my activities in NYC. The two police officers I strangled and shoved in the pantry may have also had something to do with it, but let's not make any unfounded assumptions. In any case, after hiding dear Christine's body under the bedroom floor I fired up my Honda street bike (acquired from a lovely Chinese-looking man who most assuredly will have no further need of it) and headed out of town. Pennsylvania is truly lovely this time of year, dear readers....or it was until I drove into a storm. Driving rain, high winds, and lightning and thunder every four seconds on average. I swear, the cacophony nearly knocked me unconscious. I DESPISE noise with ever fibre of my being. Thankfully, I was near a small town called Clarion. Lovely little college town, really. The people were very friendly. When I was unable to find a hotel, a lovely couple let me stay with them for the night.

I killed them, of course. I took great pleasure in breaking the woman's kneecaps, then forcing her to watch as I strangled her husband. I ASSUME he was her husband, anyhow. Come to think of it, I can't see a ring on either of their hands. Anyhow, I took my time with the woman. After all, it had been a long ride and I was in need of a little amusement. Might I just point out how beautiful that first moment is when you cut into flesh, that initial clean separation of tissues followed by a flood of the very elixir of life itself? It's almost hauntingly elegant. I was very careful to fill the woman's mouth with her husband's vomit-covered shirt, of course, so that her screams wouldn't be heard by the neighbors. I started with her face, carving tribal designs into the delicate skin with a small scalpel before moving down to her neck and chest. I began taking her skin off one strip at a time, savoring each moment as it peeled away to reveal the raw musculature underneath. I couldn't help but smile at the terror and agony in her eyes, the silent plea for a quick death that she HAD to have realized I had no intention of granting.
But I digress.

After I removed the skin on her torso I took a quick snack break. I had all those skin strips and nothing to do with them, so I simply borrowed a skillet and a little butter and fried myself some long pig. It's quite delicious. All of you should try it some time. When I was done with that I took the skillet out to the living room where my dear plaything was stretched out and poured the grease over her raw chest. Her writhing and moaning actually enchanted me. I didn't mind getting splattered in blood as she thrashed. Actually, it was quite amusing, especially since when she finally stopped I could see the charred tissue across what had once been her breasts. I took a small sample. Not as satisfying as the skin strips, but certainly edible. My next step was to borrow a steak knife from her kitchen and shove it into her rectum. The dear woman barely reacted to this. To be honest, I was amazed that she was still conscious at all, especially since I followed it with two more knives of the same type. I was growing bored by this point, and yearning for the climax, so I decided to.....well, I believe "cut to the chase" is the proper description.

It would seem this woman made her own soap, as I found a good supply of lye and other cleaning substances in her pantry. Have you ever seen what lye does when mixed with water, my dears? It's a fascinating chemical process, and quite corrosive I might add. Well, being the kind soul I am I chose to give this woman a relatively quick ending. I borrowed her bread knife (a lovely ten-inch serrated stainless-steel OXO knife, by the way) and cut into her abdomen, exposing her internal organs. I then upended nearly a pound of lye powder into her thoracic cavity. The smell was delicious, the reaction beautiful. I must remember to buy a package of lye to carry with me in the event of impromptu stops such as this.

Have any of you ever watched a person die in front of you, my dears? It's almost a holy experience. It's fascinating to read all the little expressions in their eyes, the confusion and pain and dismay as they finally see that their lives have meant nothing....and then, just before they return to nothing more than glassy gel-filled lumps of meat, there's a split-second where they seem to see...something else. Something that none but the almost-dead can see. Perhaps it's Heaven. Perhaps it's Father. I'm not certain. All I know is that there is a Great Mystery in this world, and the last thing every person learns in this life is the answer to it. That single fleeting expression is the greatest beauty in all the world, and I fall down and worship Him in humility every time I am blessed with the opportunity to see it again.

Now that my amusement is over, I'll get back on the road. First, though, I believe I'll take a shower. I saw a lovely and expensive raspberry-scented shampoo in the bathroom that I'd like to try. And I believe I'll also take a nap. Maybe I'll even bring the woman into bed with me. I would enjoy the companionship.

Ta ta for now, my dears. I'll see you all soon.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


My, my, my...I knew that you Runners were stupid, but my dear little KK has to take the cake. She seemed to think that she could catch us unawares, but the joke was on her. However, her attack plan WAS marginally clever, so I thought I would give her a chance to explain herself. Here is how the conversation transpired.

(I watched as KK was restrained, disarmed, and rather severely beaten by some of Morningstar's men. For such a tiny thing, she really IS quite resilient.)

Me: (waiting for a break in the beating. Indulgent smile) Hello, dear. You could have just knocked, you know. I would have let you in.

Her: (spitting out blood from a broken tooth) Yeah, and then you would've killed me.

Me: (chuckles, not offended) Well, that's true. Of course, we may end up doing that anyway, so the only thing you've gained is....(quick once-over) quite a few new injuries.

Her: (sarcastic) Yeah, thanks for that. I've always wanted a broken shoulder.

Me: (calm) You're welcome, dear. Now, to business. You obviously know I have your sister, or you wouldn't be here. The question is, what would you do to get her back?

Her: (stubborn) I'd kill every one of you if I had to.

(I had to roll my eyes at this. This girl's stubbornness obviously outweighs her common sense)

Me: (patient, hiding exasperation) My dear, you really don't understand the purpose of negotiation, do you? Allow me to ask again....what would you be willing to do to get your dear Christine back?

Her: (still stubborn) I'll promise NOT to kill all your asses.

(If ALL Runners are this absurdly obstinate, it's a wonder any of you are still alive.)

Me: (exasperated) That's hardly an acceptable offer.

(At this point I retrieved Christine from the closet I'd been keeping her in. Please note that most of her bones were broken, her face was scarred from bleach, her breasts had been removed, and her eyes were plucked out. A pitiful picture, really. Oh, and there were other assorted injuries from my attempts to quiet her)

Me: Maybe you should reconsider your answer, dear. After all, Christine here can't take much more of my hospitality.

(I yanked on her shoulder to reinforce my point. She screamed, of course, though not very loudly as her vocal cords were destroyed and her lips were sewn shut. This seemed to cause KK no small amount of distress)

Her: (face flushed, obviously QUITE agitated) Goddamnit, don't do that!

Me: (pulls harder, separating the break with enough force that it tears through the skin of her upper arm) I'll stop when you agree to do what I want.

Her: (irate, but remarkably cautious for someone with no common sense) What do you want?

Me: (calm, proceeding to cause several more injuries to Christine as I speak) I want you to serve Father. It's all I want from anyone. I want you to become part of Us. It's not hard, really, and it eliminates things like THIS. You'll have no more pain, no more worry. No more fear. It's bliss, dear.

Her: (becoming more irate by the second. It was quite entertaining) You have GOT to be fucking with me! After THIS shit, you really think I'd join you pathetic fucked-up losers? LET HER GO!!!

Me: (amused, calm) No, dear. I really DIDN'T expect you to change sides. You're far too stupid to see that that's the best option. I simply needed to hear your refusal.

Now, at this point she proceeded to spew quite a few epithets that are HARDLY fit language to repeat, let alone to use on one's mother. Being rather annoyed, I proceeded to dismember and disembowel Christine right in front of her as a punishment. It's actually a good thing that Morningstar's crew are such muscle-bound types, as otherwise I'm certain I would be dead right now. Anyhow, I let him go to work on her, as his sadism DOES have its purposes. I'd asked him to save me the killing stroke, though, so that I could finish what I started so long ago. Unfortunately, I never got to deliver it. She was rescued, teleported out by some boy who can apparently use the Path.

Morningstar, naturally, was furious. I, on the other hand, couldn't stop laughing. It was all too much. I'd been so impossibly close to my dream, only to have it once more yanked out from under me. To whoever rescued her: I will hunt you down. I will cut you open one tiny slice at a time and I will eat your heart. I will turn your ribs into a corset and your spine into a sword that I will use to kill every member of your family. I will find you in your sleep and I will torture you for weeks. I will not forget this, and if you have ANY shred of wisdom you will commit suicide and save yourself considerable agony.

Ta ta for now, my dears.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

What a long, boring day. I had to amuse myself by cutting several strips of flesh off dear Christine's legs. It made a bloody

ohmygod whereamiwhatsgoingon? who are these people? somebody help me, please.....

Monday, July 18, 2011

Points of Interest

It occurs to me, now that this girl has finally ceased her annoying whimpering (nails on a chalkboard have NOTHING on one of you pathetic meatsacks squealing in terror), that some of you may be interested in hearing a modicum of information about who I was when I was still one of you.

As I stated before, my name was Alicia Carter. I was a moderately successful woman, a surgeon with a husband and three children (all girls, of course). I was a surgeon, a good one. I don't think it's terribly prideful to say that I was among the best in my field, if rather unrecognized due to my location. I had what many of you would consider to be a good life.

It was, naturally, all a lie.

As it turned out, my husband was cheating on me....with my daughters, none of whom were older than 7 at the time. When the police investigated, he attempted to implicate me. This pathetic stab at avoiding his own responsibility failed, naturally, but in the ensuing scandal my medical license was revoked. All the good I had done was forgotten, and only an outright LIE remained in people's minds when they thought of my name. I wasn't happy about this. At all. So I resolved to eliminate the problem, as any good empowered woman should do.

I tried to kill my daughters. I say "tried" because only one actually died. Another was wounded, and the third (the little bitch) called the police before I could silence her. I was sent to prison. My life had gone completely off the rails. I had never been a religious woman, so I didn't even have a cold and uncaring God to blame my misfortunes on. I cried out in the night on Death Row, pleading for someone, ANYONE to bring me an answer. I craved a "why" with every fibre of my being.

Father was the one to answer.

He came to me. He appeared in my cell, and without speaking told me everything I could ask for. He promised me release, and vengeance, and PURPOSE if I would be his, his entirely, body and soul. I said yes. I fell down and worshipped Him, and he took me as his servant. He made me better than I'd ever been, more intelligent, more alert, stronger and more than human in every way. I was more than happy to provide any services he asked of me. He was my Father now, and a good girl will always do as her Father asks.

You know now who I am and how I came to this. I fell from grace, but in that fall I found a new purpose and a new meaning. I am more than human, more than I could have ever been alone. He gives gifts to His Chosen, all you dear Runners and Fighters. He will accept you with open arms and make you better. He will fix you. He will make you whole.

Embrace Him and know true peace and rest.

Friday, July 15, 2011


My GOD you scream a lot. You're not even bleeding yet, you little twat. If I'm going to have to suffer through days of this, I may just end you right now. Then again, maybe that's what you want. I think I'll stretch it out. I imagine having a cattle prod in there is rather uncomfortable, but if you don't shut up and let me get on with my preparations I'll trigger it again, I swear I will. Just shut UP!

Oh, look at that. Your wrist snapped. Well, it's your own fault for disobeying me. Father's agent said you wouldn't survive Hallowing, so now you're mine. If you don't do what you're told, more pain will come. What's that? Water? Hmm.....only after you do something for me. Yes, that. Again.

There, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Here's your water. Oh, I forgot to mention...that burning you feel is the bleach I added. It shoudl start eating your tongue and lips in about ten seconds. Ah, there it goes. With any luck it'll consume your vocal cords too and you'll finally be silent. Father, help me tolerate this cunt for a few more days....even after the bleach she's able to MOAN. This is ridiculous. Shut UP, you stupid meatsack! Nobody's going to rescue you! Nobody's going to hear you! SHUT UP!

..oh, damn. Now look what you've done, Christine. You've gotten your blood all over me. Good thing you're a cutter. You're used to pain there, aren't you? Well, how about here? Here? Oh, look. Without breasts, you look rather mannish. Unfortunate, really, as you were borderline cute before. Then again....that gives me an idea.

There, that's better. You're all fixed up now. And don't worry about your eyes. I donated them to a friend. Now, we just have to wait for your sister to arrive. Then the real fun can begin....


I am setting an example, by His command. Those of you who think you can harm him, you will soon see see exactly what sort of vengeance He will exact. I hope you are prepared.

An Introduction

You're all hopeless, all you Runners and Fighters. I used to be one of you. Then I met Father and he changed my mind. He is the Alpha and Omega, the darkness from which we all came and to which we'll all return. I embrace nothing but my destiny when I become a part of Him.

Oh, I'm sorry. I promised an introduction, didn't I? 

My name was once Alicia Carter. I was like the rest of you; pathetic, mewling, simpering bags of shit who seek nothing but your own gratification, living for nothing but your next meal and your next fuck and the next bit of stimulation for your primitive thoughtless pre-hominid cerebra

Apologies. I'm afraid that my thoughts run away from me sometimes, especially when I think about the pathetic excuse for a life I used to lead. Now I am His, and I am coming for you. All of you.

I will show you His glory, and you will beg for your lives. And I will laugh.